Hash N+318 "Independence Day Hash"
Sunday, 6th of July
Hash N+318: Just
Johnny’s Desperate Dash for a Hash Name (or “How to Bribe the Hash Gods With Sweat and
Regret”)
After barely
surviving Hash N+317 in the wilds of Asa Norte, we now stumble heroically into Sudoeste—a
neighborhood so under-hashed it still thinks “trail” means a salad dressing.
📣 Leading the charge is Just Johnny, freshly
back from “work trips” (read: tax-deductible holidays) to Peru and Colombia.
He’s on a mission:
🏃♂️ Hare a few trails
🙏 Impress the
Hash elders
🏅 Finally get a
Hash name before he flees Brasília forever in August.
He thinks it’s
simple.
He is wrong.
🗺️ The Trail
📍 Start: Parque Bosque do Sudoeste (aka
“That park near the other confusing roundabouts”)
🏃♂️ Runners: 7–9 km of "Is this
exercise or a cry for help?"
🚶♀️ Walkers: 5 km of "Cardio + gossip =
therapy without the co-pay"
🍻 What to Expect (Besides Regret and Mild
Dehydration):
🎭 Chalk Talk: A quick crash course in
markings, rules, and why no one has called the police on us yet.
🍺 Beer Stop: Because you’re not sweating,
you’re releasing toxins with hops.
🎉 Circle: Our weekly group therapy session
disguised as ritualized bullying, off-key singing, and cold beer.
🌦 Weather Forecast:
• SPF 1000 still won’t save you
• Mud in places not covered by medical textbooks
• At least one Hasher attempting tree-humping
• A trail so confusing even Waze files a restraining order
• Mid-trail existential crisis (standard package)
Packing List: Sunscreen, poncho, dry socks, and
whatever dignity you have left. Leave the common sense at home—trust us, you
won’t need it.
So lace up, chug
down, and embrace your fate.
It’s not just a trail—it’s a lifestyle choice you’ll keep regretting in the
best possible way.
You weren’t born
for this, but neither was Just Johnny—and that’s why it’s perfect.
On On, you
magnificent weirdos! 🧃💀🪩🍻
