Hash N+332 "Carnaval Hash"

Sunday, 15th of February

Upcoming Hash N+332 – Carnaval Edition: The Great Shitty Parade 

It’s Carnaval time, and Brasília is about to lose what little dignity it had left. Naturally, Sperm Bank has stepped forward (or stumbled) to hare this abomination.

We’ll be starting in the parking lot in front of Caixa Cultural Brasília, smack in the sweaty, chaotic heart of the city.

There will be pre-Carnaval madness everywhere, and your Hare will heroically attempt to drag trail straight through it. Expect a shitty trail, a questionable beer stop, and life choices you’ll pretend were “worth it.”

Bonus points if you show up in Carnaval costume. Extra bonus points if you regret it immediately.

So come out! Bring friends, family, your girlfriend, your wife — bring both and Hash Cash is waived (we’re degenerates, not monsters) — and help us create a Hash so bad it becomes legend… or a repressed memory.

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📍 Start

Parking lot in front of Caixa Cultural Brasília

🐍 Trail

From this starting point… absolutely anywhere and nowhere at once.

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🗺️ The Trail

🏃 Runners:

LOL. No. Sit down, champion. This is not your day.

🚶 Walkers:

~5 km of scenic suffering — like a relaxing stroll, except it’s hot, confusing, slightly traumatic, and ends in beer.

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🍻 What to Expect (Besides Poor Decisions)

🎭 Chalk Talk – Like a TED Talk, but drunk, badly organized, and mostly lies.

🍺 Beer Stop – The exact moment your liver starts drafting its resignation letter.

🎉 Circle – Public humiliation, off-key chanting, and beer so warm it qualifies as soup.

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🌦 Forecast

Hotter than Lucifer’s bidet, with a strong chance of “oh for f*ck’s sake, rain again.”

---

🧳 Packing List

• Sunscreen strong enough to survive nuclear war

• Raincoat / human condom (Brazilian summer edition)

• A sense of humor

• Any remaining dignity (it will die in Circle)

---

So lace up your shame-proof shoes, hydrate like it’s your religion, and come suffer gloriously with us.

This isn’t a run. It’s group therapy with beer, heckling, and occasional accidental nudity.

On On, you magnificent disasters! 🍻🐾

                   Hash N+331 "Virgin Hare Hash"

Sunday, 1st of February

Upcoming Hash N+331

After Just Nick’s first attempt at haring back in October — bravely mentored by Opulence, who promptly went into emergency hospital the day before, we are proud (and mildly concerned) to announce Just Nick’s second attempt to hare his first-ever Hash.

Yes. Second attempt. Same first Hash. Don’t ask questions.

The sacred training grounds for achieving Master Hare Status™ will be Lago Norte, the shared backyard of Just Nick and Opulence. This guarantees a trail that is objectively terrible, creatively confusing, and packed with unpleasant surprises. Tradition will, of course, be respected: there will be circles, and there will be beer.

So come out! Bring friends, family, your girlfriend or your wife — bring both and Hash Cash is waived (we’re degenerates, not monsters) — and help us make this a truly shitty Hash to remember… or repress.

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📍 Start
Parking lot in front of Borracharia Lago Norte
SHIN CA 3 – Lago Norte

🐍 Trail
Maybe Varjão, maybe the lake, maybe CA? - Nobody knows. Least of all the hare.

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🗺️ The Trail

🏃 Runners: LOL. No. Sit down, hero. Not this Hash
🚶 Walkers: ~5 km of scenic suffering — think Instagram walk, but with zero filters, extra sweat, mystery scratches, and at least one deep existential crisis.

---

🍻 What to Expect (Besides Regret)

🎭 Chalk Talk: Like a TED Talk, but louder, drunker, and mostly lies.
🍺 Beer Stop: The exact moment your liver files a formal complaint.
🎉 Circle: Public humiliation, off-key chanting, and beer so warm it qualifies as soup.

---

🌦 Forecast
Hotter than Lucifer’s bidet, with a strong chance of “oh for f*ck’s sake, rain again.”

---

🧳 Packing List

·         Sunscreen strong enough to fry an egg

·         Raincoat / human condom (just in case)

·         Your liver’s farewell letter

·         Any remaining dignity (it will not survive Circle)

---

So lace up your shame-proof shoes, hydrate like it’s an Olympic sport, and come suffer gloriously with us.

This isn’t a run.

It’s group therapy with beer, heckling, and the occasional accidental nudity.

On On, you magnificent disasters!

                   Hash N+330 "New Year Hash"

Sunday, 18th of January

🎄🍻 Upcoming Hashmas Hash N+330 🍻🎄

After bravely not hashing last week—because no one could be arsed to hare while everyone was either traveling or still detoxing from New Year’s Eve—we are BACK.

With most degenerates finally back in Brasília and fully recommitted to the annual resolutions of “exercise more” and “drink even more”, we proudly present the first Hash of 2026.

🦠 Sperm Bank has heroically stepped up to hare this disaster and will kick things off from one of his natural habitats in Asa Sul.

The start will be at Praça da Persistência, and from there the trail might head toward the City Park… or the Eixão… or straight into regret. Only Sperm Bank knows. Possibly not even him.

So come out, bring friends, family, your girlfriend or your wife (bring both and Hash Cash is waived — we’re not monsters), and help us start this Hash year in the shittiest possible way.

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📍 Start

Praça da Persistência,SHCS EQS 112/113 – Asa Sul

🐍 Trail

Quadras, Eixo, underpasses, and maybe a park… or maybe emotional damage.

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🗺️ The Trail

🏃 Runners: LOL. Sit down. Not today, champ.

🚶 Walkers: ~5 km of scenic suffering — an Instagram stroll with no filters, extra sweat, mystery scratches, and at least one existential crisis.

---

🍻 What to Expect (Besides Poor Life Choices)

🎭 Chalk Talk: Like a TED Talk, but louder, drunker, and wildly inaccurate.

🍺 Beer Stop: The precise moment your liver files a formal complaint.

🎉 Circle: Public humiliation, off-key chanting, and beer so warm it qualifies as soup.

---

🌦 Forecast

Hotter than Lucifer’s bidet, with a strong chance of “oh for f*ck’s sake, rain again.”

---

🧳 Packing List

• Sunscreen strong enough to fry an egg

• A raincoat / human condom (just in case)

• Your liver’s farewell letter

• Any remaining dignity (it will not survive Circle)

---

So lace up your shame-proof shoes, hydrate like it’s an Olympic event, and come suffer gloriously with us.

This isn’t a run.

It’s group therapy — with beer, heckling, and the occasional accidental nudity.

On On, you magnificent disasters! 🍻🔥💀

 

                   Hash N+329 "Hashmas Hash"

Sunday, 21st of December

Upcoming Hashmas Hash N+329

Well, how time flies when you’re drunk… and just like that, we’ve stumbled into the very last Hash of 2025, a mere three days before Christmas. Most of you will already be fleeing Brasília to eat too much, argue with relatives, and pretend you like snow. Safe travels, wanks — enjoy the cold, the family drama, and the passive-aggressive hugs.

For those poor souls still trapped in Brasília… the Hash must go on.

Against all logic and good judgment, Union Jack-Off and Just Richard have volunteered (yes, willingly) to hare this final disaster of the year. The trail will start at SQN 203, aka Union Jack-Off’s backyard, so expectations should be set accordingly:

👉 a shitty trail that may or may not involve the Eixo, questionable shortcuts, and at least one moment of “why am I still doing this?”

Come out, make it big, make it messy, and let’s end 2025 the only way we know how — slightly dehydrated and deeply ashamed.

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📍 Start

SQN 203 – Bloco TBA (because planning is for other people)

🐍 Trail

Quadras, Eixo, underpasses, and maybe a park… or maybe regret

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🗺️ The Trail

🏃 Runners: LOL. Sit down. No running trail this time.

🚶 Walkers: ~5 km of an Instagram stroll — no filters, extra sweat, mystery scratches, and at least one emotional wobble.

---

🍻 What to Expect (Besides Poor Life Choices)

🎭 Chalk Talk: Like a TED Talk, but louder, drunker, and fact-free.

🍺 Beer Stop: The exact moment your liver files a formal complaint.

🎉 Circle: Public humiliation, off-key chanting, and beer so warm it could legally be classified as soup.

---

🌦 Forecast

Hotter than Lucifer’s bidet, with a strong chance of “oh for f*ck’s sake, rain again.”

---

🧳 Packing List

• Sunscreen powerful enough to cook an egg

• A raincoat or human condom just in case it is raining

• Your liver’s final goodbye letter

• Any remaining dignity (it will not survive Circle)

---

So lace up your shame-proof shoes, hydrate like it’s an Olympic sport, and come suffer gloriously with us.

This isn’t a run.

It’s group therapy — with beer, heckling, and the occasional accidental nudity.

On On, you magnificent disasters! 🍻🔥💀

                  Hash N+328 "Lago Sul Hash"

Sunday, 7th of December

🍃 Wrap-Up – Ecological Park Don Bosco Hash N+326

Just Trinidade and Sperm Bank were the only two morons—I mean heroes—keen enough to set the trail on Saturday afternoon. And of course, the weather gods said, “Hold my beer,” opened the heavens, and flushed the whole thing away.

So they set it again on Sunday morning… and the sky said, “Cute,” and rained AGAIN.

By 15:00 we had:

• No trail.

• A handful of Hashers.

• And one brave visitor from Romania who apparently flew all the way to Brasília for this. Poor guy.

The pack set off anyway like the optimistic idiots we are, returning an hour later wet, scratched up, and accessorized with ticks.

All in all: a gloriously shitty Hash.

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👻 Upcoming Lago Sul Hash N+328

Calcoholic has “volunteered” (kidnapped? blackmailed?) to set this next trail, and she picked Lago Sul. Knowing her, expect a trail full of surprises, swearing, and strategic beer placement. Bring your best attitude, or at least your worst—both fit right in.

📍 Start

Parking lot of Don Romano Cantina e Pizzaria – SHIS QI 11, Lago Sul

🐍 Trail

Hills, lake views, quadras, parks… basically a guided tour of everywhere you’ll regret going.

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🗺️ The Trail

🏃 Runners: LOL. No.

🚶 Walkers: 5 km of “Instagram stroll—minus the filters, plus the sweat, scratches, and at least one emotional breakdown.”

---

🍻 What to Expect (Besides Regret)

🎭 Chalk Talk: Like a TED Talk, but with fewer facts and more confusion.

🍺 Beer Stop: The moment your liver drafts its resignation letter.

🎉 Circle: Public humiliation, off-key chanting, and beer warm enough to qualify as soup.

---

🌦 Forecast

Hotter than Lucifer’s bidet with a chance of “oh crap, it’s raining again.”

---

🧳 Packing List

• Sunscreen strong enough to fry an egg on.

• One sacrificial sock (don’t ask, don’t break tradition).

• Your liver’s final goodbye note.

• Whatever scraps of dignity you still have—they won’t survive Circle anyway.

---

So slap on your shame-proof shoes, hydrate like it’s a sport, and come suffer gloriously with us.

This isn’t a run. It’s group therapy—with beer, heckling, and the occasional accidental nudity.

On On, you magnificent disasters! 🍻🔥💀

                                Hash N+327"Dom Bosco Hash"

Sunday, 23rd of November

Wrap Up - Asa Norte Hash N+326

Well, miracle of miracles, Hash N+326 actually happened this time! I Love Sausage and Union Jack-Off managed to set a wonderfully shitty trail at the far end of Asa Norte, the kind of scenic wasteland only true Hashers can fully appreciate. It had everything a Hasher dreams of: glorious false trails, premium-quality confusion, and of course, the sacred beer stop.

Sadly, the pack turnout was… let’s call it “intimate.” But hey, as we like to say: it’s not the quantity of Hashers, it’s the quality of degeneracy they bring.

 

👻 Upcoming Asa Norte Hash N+327

Good news: Sperm Bank and Just Trinidade bravely volunteered to hare N+327! This time we’re invading the Ecological Park Don Bosco, a place we haven’t destroyed in a while. The last trails there were absolute masterpieces of shittiness: bush-bashing, water crossings, wandering Hashers who may or may not still be lost, and hills that will make you question your life choices.

So brace yourselves for another beautifully shitty trail. And since Just Trinidade is involved, expect surprises, confusion, possibly some emotional damage, and yes — a runners trail too.

On on!

📍 Start: Parking Ecological Park Don Bosco, Lago Sul

🐍 Trail: Bush, hills, water crossings, etc. This one will have it all

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🗺️ The Trail

🏃 Runners: Between 7 – 9 kms

🚶 Walkers: 5 km of “Instagram stroll… minus the filters, plus the sweat and at least one identity crisis.”

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🍻 What to Expect (Besides Regret):

🎭 Chalk Talk: The TED Talk nobody asked for.

🍺 Beer Stop: Where your liver files for divorce.

🎉 Circle: Public humiliation, tone-deaf chanting, and beer so warm it’s basically soup.

---

🌦 Forecast:

☀ Hotter than Lucifer’s bidet. But maybe a little bit of rain. Who knows….

---

🧳 Packing List:

• Sunscreen stronger.

• One sacrificial sock (don’t ask, just trust).

• Your liver’s last suicide note.

• Whatever dignity you’re still clinging to—it won’t survive Circle.

---

So lace up your shame-proof shoes, hydrate like you mean it, and come suffer gloriously with us.

This isn’t a run. It’s group therapy—with beer, heckling, and the ever-present threat of accidental nudity.

On On, you magnificent disasters! 🍻🔥💀

                               Hash N+326 - 1"Asa Norte Hash"

Sunday, 9th of November

Asa Norte Hash N+326

N+326 Wrap-Up (or: The Hash That Never Was)

Well folks, there is technically no wrap-up for Hash N+326, because… it didn’t bloody happen.

Just Nick was all geared up to hare this one with Opulence. The flour was ready, the lies were prepared, the trail was destined to be gloriously confusing — but Opulence decided that feeling slightly unwell required a dramatic visit to the BASE emergency unit. Yes, our dear Opulence traded hashing glory for hospital air-conditioning and professional sympathy.

Union Jack-Off did try to save the day, bless his heroic, overconfident heart. But even he couldn’t conjure a shitty enough trail at the last minute to properly torment the pack. And so — N+326 was canceled. (Cue tiny violin.)

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👻 Upcoming Asa Norte Hash N+326-1 (The Sequel Nobody Asked For, But You're Getting Anyway)

Fear not! Like bad decisions and questionable love texts at 2 a.m., the Hash always returns.

Union Jack-Off and I Love Sausage have now volunteered to hare the second version of Hash N+326 — which we will creatively call Hash N+326-1, because math is hard and tradition is chaos.

📍 Start: Parking lot behind Colégio Me Põe na História, Asa Norte

🐍 Trail: Winding through Asa Norte and maybe the lake

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🗺️ The Trail

🏃 Runners: No runners trail will be set

🚶 Walkers: 5 km of “Instagram stroll… minus the filters, plus the sweat and at least one identity crisis.”

---

🍻 What to Expect (Besides Regret):

🎭 Chalk Talk: The TED Talk nobody asked for.

🍺 Beer Stop: Where your liver files for divorce.

🎉 Circle: Public humiliation, tone-deaf chanting, and beer so warm it’s basically soup.

---

🌦 Forecast:

☀ Hotter than Lucifer’s bidet. But maybe a little bit of rain. Who knows….

---

🧳 Packing List:

• Sunscreen stronger.

• One sacrificial sock (don’t ask, just trust).

• Your liver’s last suicide note.

• Whatever dignity you’re still clinging to—it won’t survive Circle.

---

So lace up your shame-proof shoes, hydrate like you mean it, and come suffer gloriously with us.

This isn’t a run. It’s group therapy—with beer, heckling, and the ever-present threat of accidental nudity.

On On, you magnificent disasters! 🍻🔥