Sunday, 7th of June
🍻🐾 Welcome to Hash N+340: The Praça
dos Orixás Edition 🐾🍻
After last
week's adventures at PISAC, where some Hashers discovered innovation,
sustainability, and several previously unknown muscle groups, we now head to
one of Brasília's most iconic lakeside locations.
This week we
gather at Praça dos Orixás, where the waters of Lake Paranoá meet
spirituality, fishermen, capybaras, and confused Hashers wandering in circles
looking for flour.
What could
possibly go wrong?
🐾 The Hare
This week's
perpetrator:
Sperm Bank
Now, Sperm Bank
has promised a beautiful trail with stunning lake views, easy terrain, and
plenty of cold beer at the end.
Which, of
course, means you should prepare for:
• Flour hidden
with military precision
• Checks that lead nowhere
• Hills that somehow appear in one of the flattest parts of Brasília
• At least one section involving "shortcuts" that are neither short
nor cuts
• A spiritual journey of self-discovery
• A close encounter with an angry fisherman
• And the traditional pack cry of:
"FOR F*CK'S
SAKE, SPERM BANK!"
🌊 Local Wildlife Advisory
The committee
reminds all participants that:
• Capybaras have
right of way.
• Fishermen do not appreciate being used as trail markers.
• Offerings left for the Orixás are NOT Hash snacks.
• Swimming across the lake is not considered a shortcut.
• If you see a mermaid, you've either found the beer stop or become severely
dehydrated.
🔮 Spiritual Forecast
The Orixás
predict:
🔹 80% chance of confusion
🔹 60% chance of
unnecessary checks
🔹 40% chance of
somebody ending up in a completely different RA
🔹 100% chance of
beer
Whether you're a
runner, walker, crawler, religious scholar, amateur fisherman, capybara
enthusiast, or simply a thirsty alcoholic with occasional sporting tendencies,
come join us for another unforgettable evening by the lake.
Bring your
running shoes, bring your sense of humour, and bring your forgiveness because
by the end of the trail, you'll need all three.
ON ON! 🍻🐾
🗺️ The Trail
🏃 Runners
No idea.
Good luck.
Bring a will.
🚶 Walkers
Approximately 6
km of premium disappointment featuring:
·
Getting lost
·
Blaming the hares
·
Blaming each other
·
Pretending you
“know a shortcut”
·
Deep reflection
on poor life choices
·
Miraculously
finding the beer stop anyway
🍻 What to Expect
🎭 Chalk Talk
Like a TED Talk…
…if TED was
drunk, sunburnt, and confidently incorrect.
🍺 Beer Stop
That magical
moment when:
·
your legs stop functioning,
·
your brain gives up,
·
but your liver
proudly steps forward and says: “Don’t worry boys, I’ll carry us from here.”
🎉 Circle
The sacred Hash
ritual consisting of:
·
terrible singing,
·
offensive jokes,
·
public humiliation,
·
recycled accusations,
·
and beer of
suspicious legal status.
Nobody leaves
with dignity.
Some barely
leave conscious.
🌦 Forecast
Expected weather
conditions:
☀️ “Surface of the Sun”
Hot.
Sweaty.
Sticky.
Regrettable.
Hydration is
encouraged but will mostly be replaced with beer.
🧳 What to Bring
·
Sunscreen strong
enough for nuclear fallout
·
No rain gear —
dry season has arrived
·
A sense of
humour (mandatory)
·
Your dignity
(temporary and unnecessary)
·
Cash / beer
money / emergency taxi funds
·
Possibly a rescue flare
So lace up your
worst decisions, ignore basic survival instincts, and come suffer with the rest
of the degenerates.
Because
remember:
This is not
exercise.
It’s a
travelling catastrophe…
…with a beer
stop.
On On! 🍻🐾
