Hash N+312 "Mother's Day Hash"

Sunday, 11th of May

Brace yourselves: Hash N+312 is lumbering toward us next Sunday like a hungover sloth on rollerblades—and surprise! It just so happens to crash headfirst into Mother’s Day here in Brasília.

So here’s the plan, mums: you’ll be pampered in the morning with breakfast in bed (cold toast and lukewarm coffee courtesy of your loving offspring), smothered in chocolates, cakes, and maybe even a cheeky mimosa or three. Then, just when you're reaching peak sugar bloat, it's time to Hash it all off at 15:00.

Yes, Opulence is haring again. And yes, he’s promising a trail so delightfully terrible, so gloriously half-assed, it’ll make you question your life choices and burn off approximately 2.4 cake slices. Maybe even 3 if you cry on the uphill parts.

Oh, and rumor has it there may even be bubbly waiting at the end. Because nothing says “Happy Mother’s Day” like sweating out regret and finishing it off with some bubblies.

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🗺️ The Trail:

📍 Start: Parking lot at Centro Educacional Leonardo da Vinci – Asa Norte

🏃‍♂️ Runners: 7–9 km of “Am I exercising or just running away from responsibility?”

🚶‍♀️ Walkers: 5 km of “Still technically exercise, mostly emotionally brunch.”

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🍻 What to Expect (Besides Poor Decisions):

🎭 Chalk Talk: A brief explanation of trail markings, traditions, and why we do this to ourselves. Spoiler: it won’t help.

🍺 Beer Stop: Because electrolytes are a scam and hops are hydration.

🎉 Circle: Where we bond through public embarrassment, drink warm beer, and sing songs that make HR departments weep.

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🌦 Weather? Brasília says: “Hold my caipirinha.”

Bring sunscreen, a raincoat, a flotation device, and emotional support.

You may encounter:

·         Rain.

·         Blinding sun.

·         That one weird Hasher who’s already drunk.

·         Mud in your socks and your soul.

·         A trail so confusing, even the GPS gives up.

·         Existential dread (optional, but encouraged).

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So put on your sneakers, pretend to hydrate, and emotionally prepare for an afternoon of chaos, carbs, and questionable decisions.

You weren’t born ready, but you were born weird—and that’s what counts.

On On!

🧃💀🪩🍺