Hash N+310 "Parque das Garças Hash"

Sunday, 13th of April

🚨 Hash N+310 – Parque das Garças: Detox or Die Trying 🚨 

Freshly dragged back from Brazil Nash Hash in São Paulo—sunburnt, hoarse, and with internal organs on strike—Opulence has somehow volunteered to hare Hash N+310. Why? Because after a weekend of liver abuse and questionable decisions, he now desperately needs some cardio-based redemption.

And since he's a proud Lago Norte native (because someone has to be), and we haven’t hashed near the tip of the Lago Norte peninsula in a while, we're kicking off at the scenic, squawky, suspiciously bird-infested Parque das Garças.

It’s lakeside. It’s lush. It’s allegedly the best hashing spot in Brasília. But most importantly—it's flat. Opulence has brittle old man bones now, and someone in São Paulo kindly reminded him that hips are fragile and gravity is cruel. If anyone wants to assist the elderly (or just laugh at him trying to bend over), your kindness will be noted... and probably punished in the circle.

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🗺️ The Trails:

📍 Start: Parking lot right in front of Parque das Garças (look for hungover people with trail mix)

🏃‍♂️ Runners: 7–9 km of “Am I exercising or escaping a bear attack?”

🚶‍♀️ Walkers: 5 km of “This counts as cardio, I’m treating myself to cake.”

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🍻 What’s Coming Your Way:

🎭 Chalk Talk: A “briefing” where things will allegedly be explained. They won’t.

🍺 Beer Stop: Hydration meets happiness. Stop, sip, question your life choices.

🎉 Circle: A highly spiritual ceremony involving public shaming, warm beer, and possibly a chant about your underwear.

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🌦 Weather? Brasília Says “Surprise!”

Prepare for all of the following: ✅ A sense of adventure (or well-faked enthusiasm)

✅ Spare socks (your dignity is already damp, don’t let your feet follow)

✅ An umbrella (it’s a sun hat, it’s a rain shield, it’s fashion)

✅ A sense of humor—mandatory. No refunds if lost along the trail.

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So lace up, show up, and try not to die. You're a Hasher. You were born for this chaos.

On On