Hash N+326 - 1"Asa Norte Hash"

Sunday, 9th of November

Asa Norte Hash N+326

N+326 Wrap-Up (or: The Hash That Never Was)

Well folks, there is technically no wrap-up for Hash N+326, because… it didn’t bloody happen.

Just Nick was all geared up to hare this one with Opulence. The flour was ready, the lies were prepared, the trail was destined to be gloriously confusing — but Opulence decided that feeling slightly unwell required a dramatic visit to the BASE emergency unit. Yes, our dear Opulence traded hashing glory for hospital air-conditioning and professional sympathy.

Union Jack-Off did try to save the day, bless his heroic, overconfident heart. But even he couldn’t conjure a shitty enough trail at the last minute to properly torment the pack. And so — N+326 was canceled. (Cue tiny violin.)

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👻 Upcoming Asa Norte Hash N+326-1 (The Sequel Nobody Asked For, But You're Getting Anyway)

Fear not! Like bad decisions and questionable love texts at 2 a.m., the Hash always returns.

Union Jack-Off and I Love Sausage have now volunteered to hare the second version of Hash N+326 — which we will creatively call Hash N+326-1, because math is hard and tradition is chaos.

📍 Start: Parking lot behind Colégio Me Põe na História, Asa Norte

🐍 Trail: Winding through Asa Norte and maybe the lake

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🗺️ The Trail

🏃 Runners: No runners trail will be set

🚶 Walkers: 5 km of “Instagram stroll… minus the filters, plus the sweat and at least one identity crisis.”

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🍻 What to Expect (Besides Regret):

🎭 Chalk Talk: The TED Talk nobody asked for.

🍺 Beer Stop: Where your liver files for divorce.

🎉 Circle: Public humiliation, tone-deaf chanting, and beer so warm it’s basically soup.

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🌦 Forecast:

☀ Hotter than Lucifer’s bidet. But maybe a little bit of rain. Who knows….

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🧳 Packing List:

• Sunscreen stronger.

• One sacrificial sock (don’t ask, just trust).

• Your liver’s last suicide note.

• Whatever dignity you’re still clinging to—it won’t survive Circle.

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So lace up your shame-proof shoes, hydrate like you mean it, and come suffer gloriously with us.

This isn’t a run. It’s group therapy—with beer, heckling, and the ever-present threat of accidental nudity.

On On, you magnificent disasters! 🍻🔥