Hash N+329 "Hashmas Hash"

Sunday, 21st of December

Upcoming Hashmas Hash N+329

Well, how time flies when you’re drunk… and just like that, we’ve stumbled into the very last Hash of 2025, a mere three days before Christmas. Most of you will already be fleeing Brasília to eat too much, argue with relatives, and pretend you like snow. Safe travels, wanks — enjoy the cold, the family drama, and the passive-aggressive hugs.

For those poor souls still trapped in Brasília… the Hash must go on.

Against all logic and good judgment, Union Jack-Off and Just Richard have volunteered (yes, willingly) to hare this final disaster of the year. The trail will start at SQN 203, aka Union Jack-Off’s backyard, so expectations should be set accordingly:

👉 a shitty trail that may or may not involve the Eixo, questionable shortcuts, and at least one moment of “why am I still doing this?”

Come out, make it big, make it messy, and let’s end 2025 the only way we know how — slightly dehydrated and deeply ashamed.

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📍 Start

SQN 203 – Bloco TBA (because planning is for other people)

🐍 Trail

Quadras, Eixo, underpasses, and maybe a park… or maybe regret

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🗺️ The Trail

🏃 Runners: LOL. Sit down. No running trail this time.

🚶 Walkers: ~5 km of an Instagram stroll — no filters, extra sweat, mystery scratches, and at least one emotional wobble.

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🍻 What to Expect (Besides Poor Life Choices)

🎭 Chalk Talk: Like a TED Talk, but louder, drunker, and fact-free.

🍺 Beer Stop: The exact moment your liver files a formal complaint.

🎉 Circle: Public humiliation, off-key chanting, and beer so warm it could legally be classified as soup.

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🌦 Forecast

Hotter than Lucifer’s bidet, with a strong chance of “oh for f*ck’s sake, rain again.”

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🧳 Packing List

• Sunscreen powerful enough to cook an egg

• A raincoat or human condom just in case it is raining

• Your liver’s final goodbye letter

• Any remaining dignity (it will not survive Circle)

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So lace up your shame-proof shoes, hydrate like it’s an Olympic sport, and come suffer gloriously with us.

This isn’t a run.

It’s group therapy — with beer, heckling, and the occasional accidental nudity.

On On, you magnificent disasters! 🍻🔥💀

                  Hash N+328 "Lago Sul Hash"

Sunday, 7th of December

🍃 Wrap-Up – Ecological Park Don Bosco Hash N+326

Just Trinidade and Sperm Bank were the only two morons—I mean heroes—keen enough to set the trail on Saturday afternoon. And of course, the weather gods said, “Hold my beer,” opened the heavens, and flushed the whole thing away.

So they set it again on Sunday morning… and the sky said, “Cute,” and rained AGAIN.

By 15:00 we had:

• No trail.

• A handful of Hashers.

• And one brave visitor from Romania who apparently flew all the way to Brasília for this. Poor guy.

The pack set off anyway like the optimistic idiots we are, returning an hour later wet, scratched up, and accessorized with ticks.

All in all: a gloriously shitty Hash.

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👻 Upcoming Lago Sul Hash N+328

Calcoholic has “volunteered” (kidnapped? blackmailed?) to set this next trail, and she picked Lago Sul. Knowing her, expect a trail full of surprises, swearing, and strategic beer placement. Bring your best attitude, or at least your worst—both fit right in.

📍 Start

Parking lot of Don Romano Cantina e Pizzaria – SHIS QI 11, Lago Sul

🐍 Trail

Hills, lake views, quadras, parks… basically a guided tour of everywhere you’ll regret going.

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🗺️ The Trail

🏃 Runners: LOL. No.

🚶 Walkers: 5 km of “Instagram stroll—minus the filters, plus the sweat, scratches, and at least one emotional breakdown.”

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🍻 What to Expect (Besides Regret)

🎭 Chalk Talk: Like a TED Talk, but with fewer facts and more confusion.

🍺 Beer Stop: The moment your liver drafts its resignation letter.

🎉 Circle: Public humiliation, off-key chanting, and beer warm enough to qualify as soup.

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🌦 Forecast

Hotter than Lucifer’s bidet with a chance of “oh crap, it’s raining again.”

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🧳 Packing List

• Sunscreen strong enough to fry an egg on.

• One sacrificial sock (don’t ask, don’t break tradition).

• Your liver’s final goodbye note.

• Whatever scraps of dignity you still have—they won’t survive Circle anyway.

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So slap on your shame-proof shoes, hydrate like it’s a sport, and come suffer gloriously with us.

This isn’t a run. It’s group therapy—with beer, heckling, and the occasional accidental nudity.

On On, you magnificent disasters! 🍻🔥💀

                                Hash N+327"Dom Bosco Hash"

Sunday, 23rd of November

Wrap Up - Asa Norte Hash N+326

Well, miracle of miracles, Hash N+326 actually happened this time! I Love Sausage and Union Jack-Off managed to set a wonderfully shitty trail at the far end of Asa Norte, the kind of scenic wasteland only true Hashers can fully appreciate. It had everything a Hasher dreams of: glorious false trails, premium-quality confusion, and of course, the sacred beer stop.

Sadly, the pack turnout was… let’s call it “intimate.” But hey, as we like to say: it’s not the quantity of Hashers, it’s the quality of degeneracy they bring.

 

👻 Upcoming Asa Norte Hash N+327

Good news: Sperm Bank and Just Trinidade bravely volunteered to hare N+327! This time we’re invading the Ecological Park Don Bosco, a place we haven’t destroyed in a while. The last trails there were absolute masterpieces of shittiness: bush-bashing, water crossings, wandering Hashers who may or may not still be lost, and hills that will make you question your life choices.

So brace yourselves for another beautifully shitty trail. And since Just Trinidade is involved, expect surprises, confusion, possibly some emotional damage, and yes — a runners trail too.

On on!

📍 Start: Parking Ecological Park Don Bosco, Lago Sul

🐍 Trail: Bush, hills, water crossings, etc. This one will have it all

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🗺️ The Trail

🏃 Runners: Between 7 – 9 kms

🚶 Walkers: 5 km of “Instagram stroll… minus the filters, plus the sweat and at least one identity crisis.”

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🍻 What to Expect (Besides Regret):

🎭 Chalk Talk: The TED Talk nobody asked for.

🍺 Beer Stop: Where your liver files for divorce.

🎉 Circle: Public humiliation, tone-deaf chanting, and beer so warm it’s basically soup.

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🌦 Forecast:

☀ Hotter than Lucifer’s bidet. But maybe a little bit of rain. Who knows….

---

🧳 Packing List:

• Sunscreen stronger.

• One sacrificial sock (don’t ask, just trust).

• Your liver’s last suicide note.

• Whatever dignity you’re still clinging to—it won’t survive Circle.

---

So lace up your shame-proof shoes, hydrate like you mean it, and come suffer gloriously with us.

This isn’t a run. It’s group therapy—with beer, heckling, and the ever-present threat of accidental nudity.

On On, you magnificent disasters! 🍻🔥💀

                               Hash N+326 - 1"Asa Norte Hash"

Sunday, 9th of November

Asa Norte Hash N+326

N+326 Wrap-Up (or: The Hash That Never Was)

Well folks, there is technically no wrap-up for Hash N+326, because… it didn’t bloody happen.

Just Nick was all geared up to hare this one with Opulence. The flour was ready, the lies were prepared, the trail was destined to be gloriously confusing — but Opulence decided that feeling slightly unwell required a dramatic visit to the BASE emergency unit. Yes, our dear Opulence traded hashing glory for hospital air-conditioning and professional sympathy.

Union Jack-Off did try to save the day, bless his heroic, overconfident heart. But even he couldn’t conjure a shitty enough trail at the last minute to properly torment the pack. And so — N+326 was canceled. (Cue tiny violin.)

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👻 Upcoming Asa Norte Hash N+326-1 (The Sequel Nobody Asked For, But You're Getting Anyway)

Fear not! Like bad decisions and questionable love texts at 2 a.m., the Hash always returns.

Union Jack-Off and I Love Sausage have now volunteered to hare the second version of Hash N+326 — which we will creatively call Hash N+326-1, because math is hard and tradition is chaos.

📍 Start: Parking lot behind Colégio Me Põe na História, Asa Norte

🐍 Trail: Winding through Asa Norte and maybe the lake

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🗺️ The Trail

🏃 Runners: No runners trail will be set

🚶 Walkers: 5 km of “Instagram stroll… minus the filters, plus the sweat and at least one identity crisis.”

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🍻 What to Expect (Besides Regret):

🎭 Chalk Talk: The TED Talk nobody asked for.

🍺 Beer Stop: Where your liver files for divorce.

🎉 Circle: Public humiliation, tone-deaf chanting, and beer so warm it’s basically soup.

---

🌦 Forecast:

☀ Hotter than Lucifer’s bidet. But maybe a little bit of rain. Who knows….

---

🧳 Packing List:

• Sunscreen stronger.

• One sacrificial sock (don’t ask, just trust).

• Your liver’s last suicide note.

• Whatever dignity you’re still clinging to—it won’t survive Circle.

---

So lace up your shame-proof shoes, hydrate like you mean it, and come suffer gloriously with us.

This isn’t a run. It’s group therapy—with beer, heckling, and the ever-present threat of accidental nudity.

On On, you magnificent disasters! 🍻🔥

 

                                     Hash N+325 "Eixao Hash"

Sunday, 12th of October

                               🌞 Hash N°325 – Rise, Run, and Ruin Your Sunday

A historic 10:30 start, because miracles do happen (thanks, Kraut).

Hash N°324 Recap – The Little Hash That Could (Almost) 

Hash N°324 was a rather intimate affair—translation: small. Which was a real shame, because we had visitors all the way from Canada, ready to experience Brasília the proper way: lost, sweaty, and slightly hungover.

Luckily, Sperm Bank and Just Trinidade laid a fine trail that kept everyone entertained, confused, and hydrated (well… beer counts, right?). Our guests were not disappointed—mainly because they were too polite to say otherwise.

At the beer stop and again after the Circle, heroic tales and tragic confessions flowed faster than the warm beer. In short: a truly shitty Hash, as tradition demands.

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Up Next: Hash N°325 – The Legend of the Flexible Kraut

Your hares for this week: Just Richard and Union Jack-Off, plotting chaos in the depths of Asa Norte.

In an unprecedented moment of humility, Just Richard begged on his knees for a 10:30 a.m. start so he could set trail at 7:00. And the Hash Master, in an act of divine mercy (or mild inebriation), said yes. (A flexible Kraut? Miracles do happen.)

After the trail, we’ll stumble straight to the Eixão for beer, food, and questionable life decisions.

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📍 Start: SQN 107, Bloco C – Asa Norte

🐍 Trail: Winding through Asa Norte’s quadras and, naturally, the legendary Eixão.

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🗺️ The Trail

🏃 Runners: 7–9 km of “Oh God, why didn’t I stay home with Netflix and wine?”

🚶 Walkers: 5 km of “Instagram stroll… minus the filters, plus the sweat and at least one identity crisis.”

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🍻 What to Expect (Besides Regret):

🎭 Chalk Talk: The TED Talk nobody asked for.

🍺 Beer Stop: Where your liver files for divorce.

🎉 Circle: Public humiliation, tone-deaf chanting, and beer so warm it’s basically soup.

Then we hit the Eixão parties, where sobriety goes to die.

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🌦 Forecast:

☀ Hotter than Lucifer’s bidet.

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🧳 Packing List:

• Sunscreen stronger than Just Richard’s excuses.

• One sacrificial sock (don’t ask, just trust).

• Your liver’s last suicide note.

• Whatever dignity you’re still clinging to—it won’t survive Circle.

---

So lace up your shame-proof shoes, hydrate like you mean it, and come suffer gloriously with us.

This isn’t a run. It’s group therapy—with beer, heckling, and the ever-present threat of accidental nudity.

On On, you magnificent disasters! 🍻🔥💀

 

                                 Hash N+324 "Asa Sul Hash"

Sunday, 28th of September

Hash N+324 – Back to the Future (and Probably Back to the Bar)

This week, Sperm Bank is dragging us all back to his old stomping ground in Asa Sul, because apparently he still hasn’t marked enough trails there. Helping him is our resident ultra-athlete Just Trinidade, who thinks “fun” means making mortals suffer through kilometers of cardio. So yeah, runners, this one’s for you. Walkers… well, pray.

📍 Start: Praça Índio Pataxó Galdino Jesus dos Santos, SHIGS 704 – Asa Sul

🐍 Trail: Will slither through Asa Sul like a drunk anaconda, maybe even invade the city park if the hares get lost (again).

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🗺️ The Trail

🏃 Runners: 7–9 km of “Oh god, why didn’t I just stay home with Netflix and wine?”

🚶 Walkers: 5 km of “Instagram stroll… minus the filters, plus the sweat, and several emotional breakdowns.”

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🍻 What to Expect (Besides Regret):

🎭 Chalk Talk – A TED Talk nobody asked for.

🍺 Beer Stop – Where your liver files for divorce.

🎉 Circle – Public roasting, tone-deaf singing, and warm beer that could probably qualify as a fossil.

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🌦 Forecast:

☀ Hotter than Lucifer’s bidet.

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🧳 Packing List:

• Sunscreen stronger than Sperm Bank’s excuses.

• A sacrificial sock (don’t ask, just bring it).

• Your liver’s final suicide note.

• Whatever dignity you’re still clinging to (you won’t have it by Circle).

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So slap on your shame-proof shoes, hydrate like it’s your last day on Earth, and come suffer gloriously with the rest of us.

This isn’t a run—it’s group therapy with beer, heckling, and the faint risk of accidental nudity.

On On, you magnificent disasters! 🍻🔥💀

 

                             

                             Hash N+323 "Lago Norte Hash"

Sunday, 14th of September

Hash N°323: Opulence’s Midlife-Crisis Trail

Guess what? Hash N°323 is creeping up, and once again Opulence has bravely (or foolishly) volunteered to hare it. Let’s be honest: the man’s no spring chicken anymore. We’d like to avoid scraping him off the trail after he trips over a pebble. So if anyone out there has a pulse and a shred of compassion, volunteer to give him a hand before we must call Lago Norte’s ambulance service.

📍 Start: Parque da 13, SHIN QL 11 – Lago Norte

🐍 Expect the trail to slither around the lake shores and through the Conjuntos like a drunken anaconda. Translation: scenic views, confused locals, and a pack of half-feral Hashers.

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🗺️ The Trail

🏃 Runners: 7–9 km of “I thought this was a drinking club, not a death march!”

🚶 Walkers: 5 km of “Influencer walk… except you’re sweaty, red-faced, and probably scaring children.”

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🍻 What to Expect (Other Than Bad Life Choices)

🎭 Chalk Talk – A PowerPoint-free lecture you didn’t ask for.

🍺 Beer Stop – Your liver’s last stand.

🎉 Circle – Roasting, off-key singing, and beer older than some Hashers’ replacement hips.

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🌦 Forecast

☀ Sun hotter than Satan’s sauna towel.

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🧳 Packing List

·         Sunscreen strong enough to protect against nuclear fallout

·         A sock you don’t care about (you’ll see why)

·         Your liver’s final ounce of bravery

·         Whatever’s left of your dignity (spoiler: you’ll lose it anyway)

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So lace up your shame-proof shoes, drag your liver out of retirement, and come make this trail one for the “what the hell was I thinking?” file.

This isn’t just a run. It’s group therapy with beer, heckling, and possibly public nudity.

On On, you beautiful disasters! 🍻🔥💀