Hash N+317 "Festa Junina Hash"

Sunday, 22nd of June

From Waterfalls to Parking Lots: The Glorious Return to Brasília Hashing – Hash N+317 

After the legendary BH3 Weekend Away Hash 2025 in Alto Paraíso — featuring Hash N+314 (the fabulously ridiculous Friday night Red Dress Run), Hash N+315 (the sweaty Saturday slog to a waterfall that may or may not have been worth it, followed by an epic party we’re still piecing together), and Hash N+316 (Sunday’s Hangover Hash, aka the Zombie Shuffle) — it’s time to return to that cruel mistress called reality.

Yes, we’re back to hashing in and around our beloved concrete oven, Brasília. Not that we’re complaining (okay, maybe a little), but let’s be honest: it’s no Chapada with magical waterfalls, space mushrooms, and suspiciously friendly strangers. Still, we love this gloriously dysfunctional city.

And guess what? Just Laura and Opulence have bravely volunteered to hare Hash N+317! The run will start from the parking lot opposite Bosque Park – Complexo Gastronômico e Cultural. Translation: come early, feed your hangry inner beast, and maybe even use a proper toilet before the trail turns your legs into regret spaghetti.

🗺️ The Trail:

📍 Start: Parking lot opposite Bosque Park, SQN 316 in Asa Norte

🏃‍♂️ Runners: 7–9 km of “Am I training or just trying to escape my life choices?”

🚶‍♀️ Walkers: 5 km of “This counts as cardio if we gossip fast enough.”

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🍻 What to Expect (Besides Regret):

🎭 Chalk Talk: A quick tutorial on trail markings, traditions, and why we do this to ourselves. (Spoiler: no one knows.)

🍺 Beer Stop: Because Gatorade is for amateurs and beer is nature’s electrolyte.

🎉 Circle: The sacred ceremony of shaming, shouting, and singing songs that would get us fired from any real job.

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🌦 Weather Forecast?

Prepare for:

• Sun so hot your SPF gets scared

• Mud in places you didn’t know had crevices

• A drunk Hasher trying to climb a tree (again)

• A trail so twisty even Google Maps goes, “nah, bro”

• Sudden existential dread (it’s tradition)

Bring sunscreen, a poncho, spare socks, and a therapist’s number—just in case.

---

So dust off your sneakers, hydrate like you mean it (with beer), and emotionally steel yourself for an afternoon of chaos, carbs, and questionable decisions.

You weren’t born ready, but you were born weird—and that’s more important.

On On! 🧃💀🪩🍺

Brasilia Hash House Harriers

Weekend Away Hash 2025

6th to 8th of June

🎉 Only a Few Days to Go! 🎉

The countdown is on for our BH3 Weekend Away Hash, and we’re stoked to announce that 28 Hashers are officially in! Even better—every kennel in Brazil will be represented, with wankers flying in from Rio de Janeiro, São Paulo, and Porto Alegre.

Massive thanks to all you beautiful degenerates for joining us—we’re certain you’re in for an epically shitty time!

                                       Hash N+313 "Bush Hash"

Sunday, 25th of May

Hash N+313 – A Beautiful Disaster 

What a trail. What a gloriously shitty, thorns-up-your-butt kind of trail. Just Laura’s very first solo haring, and wow—what a debut! We tried really hard to find a flaw in it. We squinted. We second-guessed. We blamed the flour. But nope—turns out, the only thing shitty about it... was everything, and we loved it. 

Let’s break it down:

·         The trail? Shitty.

·         The waterfall? Extra shitty.

·         The high grass and bushes? So shitty, it was practically a botanical war crime.·          

There was only one complaint from one brave (or foolish) Hasher: apparently, there was another trail out of the waterfall that we could have taken. But did we? Of course not. We’re Hashers. We retraced our steps like confused goats until we stumbled onto the new one. As for the complainer—well, it wasn’t his trail, and we all know the Hash rulebook is mostly fictional anyway. 

The pack was small but mighty at 15:00. Just Dileep made a dramatic entrance just as we were heading out—timing so perfect it was almost suspicious. The trail started innocently along a road, luring us into a false sense of security, before yeeting us into a bushy dirt path straight out of a survival show. A brief uphill grunt, then into a waterfall park that was… there. It existed. That’s about all we can say. 

After a quick hydration/photo/breath-catching stop, we backtracked (again, because navigation is optional) and plowed through grass tall enough to hide a small car, then over some barbed wire because trespassing is just another word for freedom. 

Soon we hit the beer stop—a magical place known to locals as “a supermarket.” Cold beer was chugged, dignity was lost, and then we headed back to the start. 

The circle was short and sweet—like a cheap romance. Some returning Hashers graced us with their presence, bringing along a seasoned UK Hasher who last ran in 2004 in Asia. That’s right, 2004. He regaled us with tales of the Hash back when GPS meant “Going Purely on Stupidity.” Much laughter was had, most of it at each other. 

And now, brace yourselves: the next Hash is the legendary BH3 Weekend Away in Alto Paraíso—a majestic, mystical place where the trails are tougher, the beers are colder, and the complaints are louder. It’s going to be one gloriously shitty blast. 

See you there. On-On!

Ah, Mother’s Day—that sacred Sunday when good Hashers should be at home brushing their mums’ hair, faking sobriety, and desperately Googling “last-minute gift ideas that don’t scream regret.” But plot twist! Instead of staying home like decent people, 16 fearless weirdos crawled out of their hangovers and showed up to the last Hash, ready to run, drink, and mildly terrify innocent bystanders.

And now, we bring you:

The Next Hash, hared by dynamic duo Just Laura and Just Nina, a wholesome mother-daughter team who’ve bonded over their mutual desire to ruin your afternoon.

They’ve promised a truly garbage trail, complete with hills, dirt paths, and a waterfall no one asked for. Pack your enthusiasm (or don’t), and whatever you do, leave your fancy shoes at home unless you enjoy crying over suede.

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🗺️ The Trail:

📍 Start: Parking lot at Borracharia do Erisvan, SHIN CA3, Lago Norte (yes, a tire shop—don’t question it)

🏃‍♂️ Runners: 7–9 km of “Am I training or just trying to escape my life choices?”

🚶‍♀️ Walkers: 5 km of “This counts as cardio if we gossip fast enough.”

---

🍻 What to Expect (Besides Regret):

🎭 Chalk Talk: A quick tutorial on trail markings, traditions, and why we do this to ourselves. (Spoiler: no one knows.)

🍺 Beer Stop: Because Gatorade is for amateurs and beer is nature’s electrolyte.

🎉 Circle: The sacred ceremony of shaming, shouting, and singing songs that would get us fired from any real job.

---

🌦 Weather Forecast? Brasília says: “Challenge accepted.”

Prepare for:

• Sun so hot your SPF gets scared

• Rain that feels like a personal attack

• Mud in places you didn’t know had crevices

• A drunk Hasher trying to climb a tree (again)

• A trail so twisty even Google Maps goes, “nah, bro”

• Sudden existential dread (it’s tradition)

Bring sunscreen, a poncho, spare socks, and a therapist’s number—just in case.

---

So dust off your sneakers, hydrate like you mean it (with beer), and emotionally steel yourself for an afternoon of chaos, carbs, and questionable decisions.

You weren’t born ready, but you were born weird—and that’s more important.

On On! 🧃💀🪩🍺

                      Hash N+312 "Mother's Day Hash"

Sunday, 11th of May

Brace yourselves: Hash N+312 is lumbering toward us next Sunday like a hungover sloth on rollerblades—and surprise! It just so happens to crash headfirst into Mother’s Day here in Brasília.

So here’s the plan, mums: you’ll be pampered in the morning with breakfast in bed (cold toast and lukewarm coffee courtesy of your loving offspring), smothered in chocolates, cakes, and maybe even a cheeky mimosa or three. Then, just when you're reaching peak sugar bloat, it's time to Hash it all off at 15:00.

Yes, Opulence is haring again. And yes, he’s promising a trail so delightfully terrible, so gloriously half-assed, it’ll make you question your life choices and burn off approximately 2.4 cake slices. Maybe even 3 if you cry on the uphill parts.

Oh, and rumor has it there may even be bubbly waiting at the end. Because nothing says “Happy Mother’s Day” like sweating out regret and finishing it off with some bubblies.

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🗺️ The Trail:

📍 Start: Parking lot at Centro Educacional Leonardo da Vinci – Asa Norte

🏃‍♂️ Runners: 7–9 km of “Am I exercising or just running away from responsibility?”

🚶‍♀️ Walkers: 5 km of “Still technically exercise, mostly emotionally brunch.”

---

🍻 What to Expect (Besides Poor Decisions):

🎭 Chalk Talk: A brief explanation of trail markings, traditions, and why we do this to ourselves. Spoiler: it won’t help.

🍺 Beer Stop: Because electrolytes are a scam and hops are hydration.

🎉 Circle: Where we bond through public embarrassment, drink warm beer, and sing songs that make HR departments weep.

---

🌦 Weather? Brasília says: “Hold my caipirinha.”

Bring sunscreen, a raincoat, a flotation device, and emotional support.

You may encounter:

·         Rain.

·         Blinding sun.

·         That one weird Hasher who’s already drunk.

·         Mud in your socks and your soul.

·         A trail so confusing, even the GPS gives up.

·         Existential dread (optional, but encouraged).

---

So put on your sneakers, pretend to hydrate, and emotionally prepare for an afternoon of chaos, carbs, and questionable decisions.

You weren’t born ready, but you were born weird—and that’s what counts.

On On!

🧃💀🪩🍺

                                      Hash N+311 "Ruine Hash"

Sunday, 27th of April

After a delightfully craptastic Hash skirting the lake shores of Lago Paranoá in scenic-ish Lago Norte—and a beer stop at the local bakery, because why not carbo-load mid-jog—Hash #N+311 is rising from the ashes like a confused phoenix at the sparkly new Parque Internacional da Paz. Yes, it’s real. Yes, it’s across from the IATE Clube

This park is basically Disneyland for Hashers—minus the rides, churros, and joy. Endless trail options abound, most of which will leave you questioning both your fitness and your life choices. Thankfully, our hare Opulence has wandered the area like a lost hiker with a vision, and he’s uncovered a trail so glorious it might almost make up for his personality. Bonus: the beer stop is even better. Or at least colder.

🗺️ The Trails:

📍 Start: Parking lot at Parque Internacional da Paz (look for people who smell like regret and trail mix)

🏃‍♂️ Runners: 7–9 km of “Am I jogging or fleeing from guilt and carbs?”

🚶‍♀️ Walkers: 5 km of “Technically exercise, emotionally brunch.”

---

🍻 What to Expect (Besides Shame):

🎭 Chalk Talk: A brief explanation of the madness to come. You’ll understand none of it. That’s the point.

🍺 Beer Stop: Because water is for amateurs. Sip, sweat, and wonder where it all went wrong.

🎉 Circle: Our sacred ritual involving warm beer, ritual humiliation, and songs that would get us banned from polite society.

---

🌦 Weather? Brasília Says: “LOL”

Bring everything, expect nothing. You may experience:

✅ Rain.

✅ Sun.

✅ Existential crisis.

✅ A light breeze that somehow ruins your day.

✅ Mud in places that shouldn’t know mud.

✅ And a Hasher yelling “On On” while completely lost.

---

So tie your shoes, hydrate-ish, and mentally prepare. You weren’t born ready—but you were born loud, weird, and into chaos.

On On

🧃💀🪩🍺

                  Hash N+310 "Parque das Garças Hash"

Sunday, 13th of April

🚨 Hash N+310 – Parque das Garças: Detox or Die Trying 🚨 

Freshly dragged back from Brazil Nash Hash in São Paulo—sunburnt, hoarse, and with internal organs on strike—Opulence has somehow volunteered to hare Hash N+310. Why? Because after a weekend of liver abuse and questionable decisions, he now desperately needs some cardio-based redemption.

And since he's a proud Lago Norte native (because someone has to be), and we haven’t hashed near the tip of the Lago Norte peninsula in a while, we're kicking off at the scenic, squawky, suspiciously bird-infested Parque das Garças.

It’s lakeside. It’s lush. It’s allegedly the best hashing spot in Brasília. But most importantly—it's flat. Opulence has brittle old man bones now, and someone in São Paulo kindly reminded him that hips are fragile and gravity is cruel. If anyone wants to assist the elderly (or just laugh at him trying to bend over), your kindness will be noted... and probably punished in the circle.

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🗺️ The Trails:

📍 Start: Parking lot right in front of Parque das Garças (look for hungover people with trail mix)

🏃‍♂️ Runners: 7–9 km of “Am I exercising or escaping a bear attack?”

🚶‍♀️ Walkers: 5 km of “This counts as cardio, I’m treating myself to cake.”

---

🍻 What’s Coming Your Way:

🎭 Chalk Talk: A “briefing” where things will allegedly be explained. They won’t.

🍺 Beer Stop: Hydration meets happiness. Stop, sip, question your life choices.

🎉 Circle: A highly spiritual ceremony involving public shaming, warm beer, and possibly a chant about your underwear.

---

🌦 Weather? Brasília Says “Surprise!”

Prepare for all of the following: ✅ A sense of adventure (or well-faked enthusiasm)

✅ Spare socks (your dignity is already damp, don’t let your feet follow)

✅ An umbrella (it’s a sun hat, it’s a rain shield, it’s fashion)

✅ A sense of humor—mandatory. No refunds if lost along the trail.

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So lace up, show up, and try not to die. You're a Hasher. You were born for this chaos.

On On

                      Hash N+309 "April Fools Day Hash"

Sunday, 30th of March

🐰 Hash N+308 Recap: Virgin Hares, Empty Gas, and Maximum Confusion

Hash N+308 was set by two brave (or just wildly overconfident) virgin hares, Just Richard and Just Fernanda. They refused all offers of help—violently, I might add—so they were left to their own devices. And what did they do? They reinvented the trail markings, possibly to keep us on our toes or possibly because they were still drunk from the night before. Who’s to say?

Their excuse for a delay? An empty gas bottle. Sure. And I’m late to work because gravity was extra strong today. But hey, the Hash has no rules, no training wheels, and no mercy—so these two learned the hard way. And despite the chaos (or because of it?), the trail was a hit, taking us through quadras we didn’t even know existed.

Meanwhile, Just Samantha finally got named after three years of loyal hashing. Henceforth, she shall be known as Wine Rack—because balance is key, and she carries her booze like a pro.

All in all, a perfectly shitty trail for all.

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🥳 Hash N+309: April Fools’ Edition (or Just Johnny’s Elaborate Prank?)

Next up, Just Johnny and Just Helder will be leading the charge. Johnny claims there will be surprises, which is concerning given that this Hash is dangerously close to April Fools’ Day. What’s the worst that could happen? (Famous last words.)

🚀 The Trails:

📍 Starting Point: Parking lot in front of Hospital Sírio-Libanês – where dreams are crushed, and knees are sacrificed.

🏃‍♂️ Runners: 7–9 km of “Am I on a fun run or the opening scene of a survival documentary?”

🚶‍♀️ Walkers: 5 km of “I deserve a snack and a medal after this.”

📢 What’s in Store?

🎭 Chalk Talk: A "briefing" that may or may not explain anything. Roll the dice, folks.

🍻 Beer Stop: Our luxury hydration station—because nothing says “good life choices” like mid-run booze.

🎉 The Circle: Where your triumphs and failures will be celebrated with beer, mockery, and zero dignity.

 

🌦 Rain or Shine (or Brasília’s Usual Mood Swings)

Prepare for anything, including but not limited to:

✅ A sense of adventure (or at least the ability to pretend).

✅ Spare socks (your feet and your pride will both need drying).

✅ An umbrella (because paranoia is underrated).

✅ Your sense of humor—non-negotiable, folks.

So, are you ready to run, walk, and laugh at yourself? Of course, you are—you’re a Hasher. 

On On!