Hash N+337 "Zoo Hash"

Sunday, 26th of April

Upcoming Hash N+337 – Brasilia Zoo Hash

After the absolute disaster that was Hash N+336 — dragging your sorry carcasses through quadras and the Asa Sul metro like confused pigeons — it’s time to lower the bar even further.

Welcome to Hash N+337: Safari Edition.

Yes, you read that right, you bunch of degenerates. This time we’re invading the Brasília Zoo, because nothing says “quality life choices” like mixing wild animals with hungover Hashers.

Prepare yourselves for an educational experience — meaning your hares, Sperm Bank and Opulence, will confidently explain complete nonsense about animals they’ve clearly just made up on the spot.

And judging by their trail-setting skills… expect confusion, betrayal, and at least one moment where you question your will to live.

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Of course, the holy trinity remains:

·         Chalk Talk (lies, presented loudly as facts)

·         Beer Stop (our only real belief system)

·         Circle (where dignity goes to die)

Because tradition must survive… even if your knees, liver, and reputation don’t.

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So drag yourself off the couch, ignore your better judgment (as usual), and come be part of a day that will definitely feel like a mistake… until the third beer.

On On! 🍀

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📍 Start

Main gate at Brasília Zoo

🐒 Trail

We head straight into safari mode. Try not to get adopted by the animals.

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🗺️ The Trail

🏃 Runners

Adorable. No.

Sit down, shut up, and have a beer, hero.

🚶 Walkers

Around 5 km of premium suffering — featuring:

·         getting lost

·         blaming the hares

·         blaming each other

·         existential crisis

·         and finally… salvation in liquid form at the beer stop

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🍻 What to Expect (Besides Poor Decisions)

🎭 Chalk Talk

Like a TED Talk…

if TED was drunk, clueless, and aggressively wrong.

🍺 Beer Stop

That beautiful moment when your legs quit…

but your liver steps up like a champion.

🎉 Circle

A sacred ritual involving:

·         terrible singing

·         worse jokes

·         public humiliation

·         and beer of questionable legal classification

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🌦 Forecast

Expect conditions ranging from:

·         “surface of the sun”

to

·         “build the ark”

So basically: hot, sweaty, and slightly concerning.

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🧳 Packing List

Bring:

·         Sunscreen strong enough to survive nuclear fallout

·         Rain gear / portable dignity shield

·         A sense of humor (mandatory)

·         Your dignity (optional — it won’t last)

·         Cash / beer money / survival fund

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So lace up your worst decisions, hydrate like you pretend to care about yourself, and come suffer gloriously.

Because remember:

This is not exercise.

It’s a moving disaster with beer.

On On, you magnificent idiots! 🍻🐾