Hash N+338 "Farewell Hash"

Sunday, 10th of May

Welcome to Hash N+338: The Farewell Shitshow Edition

After the legendary Zoo Hash, a historic 4.5 km that somehow took two bloody hours (a new BH3 record in inefficiency), we now face a much darker moment…

Hash N+338 will be a sad one.

After 4 years of questionable life choices with BH3, Wine Rack is abandoning us for “better shores.” Apparently Brasília has broken her, and her husband Bruno, in a last-ditch effort to save his marriage, is dragging her off to Geneva.

Yes, Geneva.

Where the people are famously wild, spontaneous, and party like there’s no tomorrow…

…NOT.

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🐾 The Hares

This disaster will be led by Just Mike and Opulence.

Yes, our desperate call for volunteers was only half successful — but credit where it’s due: Just Mike has stepped up for his first-ever hare. Pray for us.

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📍 Start Location

Road entrance to SQN 306, Asa Norte — Wine Rack’s home turf.

Convenient, because after all the tears, hugs, and emotional damage, she’ll need immediate access to a shower.

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💔 The Mission

This is your last chance to properly tell Wine Rack to fuck off before she escapes the country the next day.

So show up.

Do it properly.

Send her off in true BH3 style.

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🗺️ The Trail

🏃 Runners

No.

Sit down. Shut up. Have a beer.

🚶 Walkers

~5 km of premium suffering featuring:

• Getting lost

• Blaming the hares

• Blaming each other

• Questioning your life choices

• Eventual salvation at the beer stop

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🍻 What to Expect

🎭 Chalk Talk

Like a TED Talk…

if TED was drunk, confused, and aggressively wrong.

🍺 Beer Stop

When your legs give up…

but your liver says: “I got this.”

🎉 Circle

A sacred ceremony of:

• Awful singing

• Even worse jokes

• Public humiliation

• Beer of legally questionable origin

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🌦 Forecast

Expect:

• “Surface of the sun” conditions. Hot. Sweaty. Regrettable.

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🧳 What to Bring

• Sunscreen strong enough to survive nuclear war

• No rain gear — dry season is here

• A sense of humor (mandatory)

• Your dignity (optional, and temporary)

• Cash / beer money / emergency survival funds

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So lace up your worst decisions, pretend to hydrate responsibly, and come suffer like the legend you think you are.

Because remember:

This is not exercise.

It’s a moving disaster… with beer.

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On On! 🍻🐾