Hash N+343 "JK Bridge Hash"

Sunday, 16th of August

 🍻🐾 Welcome to Brasília Hash N+343 🍻🐾

Well, the bloody World Cup is finally over, and Hash N+342 dragged us kicking and screaming back into the only sport that really matters... drinking beer after pretending to exercise. 

The trail marked the glorious debut of Just Phil as a hare, under the "expert" supervision of Union Jack-Off. Did the Canuck pass his hare test? Well... according to Union Jack-Off, Just Phil successfully managed to mark a handful of arrows and even one lonely check. A proud achievement indeed. His greatest contribution, however, was enthusiastically locating the beer stop. 

The original beer stop threw us out because they had the outrageous idea of closing their business. Fortunately, no self-respecting Hash ever lets a minor inconvenience like that stand between them and a cold beer, so an alternative watering hole was quickly found. The trail wandered through the quadras, snaked around the university, and eventually spat us back into the Circle, where justice was served in the usual form of lies, abuse, accusations and alcohol. 

This Sunday it's Hash N+343, hared by Calcoholic, our resident racist. Not that kind of racist... we mean he's ridiculously fast and spends his weekends voluntarily running marathons instead of drinking like a normal human being. 

Our start is at Orla Ponte JK, near the JK Bridge. Where will the trail go? Only Calcoholic knows... and judging by his running addiction, probably much further than anyone asked for. Expect a proper runners' trail, plenty of opportunities to question your life choices, and hopefully at least one beer stop before anyone collapses.

So stop making excuses like:

"It's too hot."

"It's too cold."

"My wife wants quality time."

"My girlfriend doesn't know about my wife."

"My goldfish has anxiety."

Nobody believes you anyway.

📍 Starting Point

Orla Ponte JK (near the JK Bridge)

🕒 Time

15:00 sharp

(Which means the chalk talk starts whenever the late bastards finally arrive.)

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🗺️ The Trail

🏃 Runners

Distance: Classified information.

Elevation: More than you'd like.

Survival: Not guaranteed

🚶 Walkers

Roughly 6 km of:

·         Following arrows that probably aren't ours.

·         Complaining about the heat.

·         Complaining about the hare.

·         Complaining about the walkers.

·         Inventing shortcuts that are somehow longer.

·         Pretending you're "just keeping a steady pace."

·         Miraculously sniffing out the beer stop.

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🍻 What to Expect 

🎭 Chalk Talk

Vital instructions delivered by people who have absolutely no idea where they're going.

🍺 Beer Stop

Medical treatment for dehydration... Hash style.

🎉 Circle

Questionable songs.

Dubious accusations.

Public humiliation.

Cold beer.

The perfect Sunday afternoon.

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🌦️ Forecast

Hot enough to fry an egg on the bonnet of a car... or a lost Hasher.

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🧳 Bring

·         Sunscreen

·         Beer money

·         A hat (unless you enjoy sunstroke)

·         A sense of humour

·         Whatever dignity you still possess (it won't survive the Circle) 

So dust off your running shoes, stretch absolutely nothing, ignore your doctor, and join the finest collection of alcoholics pretending to be athletes.

Remember...

This isn't exercise.

It's a guided tour of poor decisions...

...with a beer stop.

ON ON! 🍻🐾