Hash N+344 "Parque Copaibas Hash"
Sunday, 30th of August
🍻🐾 Welcome to
Brasília Hash N+344 🍻🐾
🍻🐾 BH3 HASH N+344 – RETURN TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME
🍺 What Happened at Hash N+343?
The last Hash, N+343, was hared by our very own Calcoholic, a man who apparently believes bridges, traffic and beer are perfectly acceptable ingredients for a Sunday afternoon.
We started near the JK Bridge, headed halfway across for the obligatory Hash Flash, then turned back and wandered past the golf course and into the club sector.
Naturally,
before the Hash even started, the usual Brazilian Hasher excuses began
arriving:
"It's too
hot."
"It's too
cold."
"There's
too much sun."
"My wife
wants quality time."
"My
girlfriend doesn't know about my wife."
"My goldfish has anxiety."
Frankly, it's a miracle Brazilians have survived in Brazil this long.
Meanwhile, the
gringos looked at the beautiful weather, shrugged, opened a beer and hashed
anyway.
ON ON!
🍻 HASH N+344
For our next
exercise in poor judgement, we return to Parque Copaíbas in Lago Sul.
This historic location is where Sperm Bank first made the catastrophic mistake of joining our dysfunctional collection of wankers.
Clearly he
learned absolutely nothing from the experience, because now he has volunteered
to hare N+344, under the questionable guidance of Opulence.
What could possibly go wrong?
Actually, Parque Copaíbas should give us a bloody good trail, with gorgeous views over Lake Paranoá and the JK Bridge guaranteed.
Whether the trail itself is gorgeous is another matter entirely.
So prepare yourself for a shitty Hash, great company and plenty of golden ale.
And please...
NO WEATHER
EXCUSES.
Nobody believes you anyway.
📍 STARTING POINT
Parque Copaíbas
– Lago Sul
🕒 TIME
15:00 SHARP
Which, in Hash
terminology, means we'll stand around drinking and insulting each other until
the late bastards finally arrive.
🗺️ THE TRAIL
🏃 RUNNERS
Distance: Classified information.
Elevation: More than you'd like.
Navigation: Questionable.
Survival: Not guaranteed.
Beer: Probable.
🚶 WALKERS
Expect roughly 6
km of:
·
Following arrows
that probably aren't ours.
·
Complaining about the heat.
·
Complaining about the trail.
·
Complaining about the hare.
·
Complaining about the runners.
·
Complaining about the walkers.
·
Inventing
shortcuts that somehow make the trail longer.
·
Pretending
you're "just keeping a steady pace."
·
Asking "How
much further?" every seven minutes.
·
Miraculously
developing Olympic-level speed when someone mentions the beer stop.
🍻 WHAT TO EXPECT
🎭 CHALK TALK
Vital
instructions delivered by people who have absolutely no idea where they're
going.
Listen carefully.
Then immediately
forget everything.
🍺 BEER STOP
A medically
questionable but Hash-approved treatment for dehydration.
Remember:
Hydration is
important.
And beer
contains water.
Science.
🎉 THE CIRCLE
Expect:
Questionable
songs.
Dubious
accusations.
False testimony.
Public
humiliation.
Unnecessary
down-downs.
Cold beer.
And absolutely
no lessons learned.
In other
words...
The perfect
Sunday afternoon.
🌞 WEATHER FORECAST
Probably hot
enough to fry an egg on the bonnet of a car.
Possibly hot
enough to fry a lost Hasher.
This is Brazil.
You knew that
when you moved here.
🎒 BRING
·
Sunscreen.
·
A hat, unless
sunstroke is part of your training programme.
·
Water, for those
strange people who drink it.
·
Beer money.
·
Running or walking shoes.
·
A sense of humour.
· Whatever dignity you still possess.
Don't worry
about bringing the dignity home.
It won't survive
the Circle.
So dust off your running shoes, stretch absolutely nothing, ignore common sense and join Brasília's finest collection of drinkers with a running problem.
Remember...
THIS ISN'T
EXERCISE.
It's a guided
tour of poor decisions...
...through the
Brazilian bush...
...with
questionable navigation...
...and a beer
stop.
🍻🐾 ON ON!
No comments:
Post a Comment