Hash N+345 "Lago Norte Hash"
Sunday, 13th of September
🍻🐾 BH3 HASH N+345
🍺 WHAT HAPPENED AT HASH N+344?
Hash N+344, hared by Sperm Bank and Opulence, was a dusty, hilly and ticky little bastard of a trail.
Officially, it
was only 4.7 km.
Physically, it felt like 10.
By the end, almost everybody, except the suspiciously cheerful hares and Just Siena, was cursing like sailors.
Just Siena bounced along and reminded us old farts that we too were apparently young once, with energy, working knees and other things now lost to history.
The trail was shitty as, the beer stop was desperately welcome, and the Circle delivered the usual accusations, drinking and public humiliation.
Another Shitty BH3 Hash.
🍻 HASH N+345
MIRACLES DO
HAPPEN!
Two weeks ago, Sir
Shagsalot VOLUNTEERED to hare N+345.
Naturally, this meant Union Jack-Off was automatically volunteered as well.
Both come from that small rainy island that somehow conquered half the planet with wooden ships, warm beer and an unjustified level of confidence.
Yes...
GREAT BRITAIN.
Expect stiff upper lips, posh accents, mild colonial arrogance and, inevitably, drunkenness.
Should either hare start speaking in an excessively snobbish English accent, the Hash Master grants temporary permission to slap them.
Gently.
We do have standards.
Very low standards, but standards nonetheless.
And to make
matters worse, some wankers from California are joining us.
They claim
they're here for a conference.
We know they really came to experience South America’s finest dysfunctional kennel.
So let's make sure they return to California confused, slightly dehydrated and with at least one story they can't tell their employers.
On On!
📍 STARTING POINT
Big Box parking
lot at the beginning of Lago Norte, near Deck Norte
🕒 TIME
15:00 SHARP
Which in Hash
terminology means we'll stand around drinking and insulting each other until
the late bastards finally arrive.
🗺️ THE TRAIL
🏃 RUNNERS – Yes there will be a runners trail
If you get lost,
remember the ancient Hash technique:
Run faster in the wrong direction.
🚶 WALKERS
Roughly 6 km of:
·
Complaining about the heat.
·
Complaining about the trail.
·
Complaining about the hare.
·
Inventing
shortcuts that make the trail longer.
·
Asking "How
much further?" every seven minutes.
·
Suddenly
developing Olympic speed when somebody says BEER STOP!
🍻 WHAT TO EXPECT
🎭 CHALK TALK
Listen carefully. Nod intelligently. Forget everything within five minutes.
🍺 BEER STOP
Beer contains
water.
Water prevents
dehydration.
Therefore beer
prevents dehydration.
SCIENCE.
Please don't ask an actual doctor.
🎉 THE CIRCLE
Questionable
songs. Dubious accusations. False testimony. Public humiliation. Unnecessary
down-downs.
Evidence will
not be required.
Lessons will not
be learned.
The perfect Sunday afternoon.
🌞 WEATHER
Probably hot
enough to fry an egg on a car bonnet.
Or it might piss
down.
In September?
Apparently the
weather gods have started drinking early.
THIS IS BRAZIL. 🇧🇷
🎒 BRING
Don't worry
about bringing the dignity home.
It won't survive
the Circle.
Dust off your shoes, stretch absolutely nothing, ignore common sense and join Brasília's finest collection of: 🍺 DRINKERS WITH A RUNNING PROBLEM 🏃
THIS ISN'T EXERCISE.
It's a guided
tour of poor decisions through the Brazilian bush, following questionable
markings laid by two British wankers...
with a beer stop.
🍻🐾 ON ON! 🐾🍻
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